Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she peed on how many people?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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