Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
