I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
