he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
