Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
