her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
