Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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