JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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