I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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