Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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