just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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