I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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