Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
