hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
