Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
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I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
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Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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