How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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