so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
