if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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