porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
