She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
