its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
