Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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