you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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