Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
