trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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