Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
