She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am puke
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
