I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
