definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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