Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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