The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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