So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
