You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
