the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
