apparently the secret to your success is patron
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
