If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
