There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
