Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
