I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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