there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
