I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i was born a porn star she said
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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