Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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