Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
