The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
