drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
