She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just had sex bonerless
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
