And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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