I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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