no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
wow bdsm is so cute
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