What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Is it penis luge time yet?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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