I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
