I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
