3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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