I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just gift wrapped bread.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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