There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
