carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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