take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
