We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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