Plan B is the new Plan A
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
