someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
