Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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